By: Gabrielle Chaudry, Contributing Writer
First-year Susquehanna students listened via Zoom as guest speaker Tim Mousseau discussed sexual violence and masculinity on Thursday, Sept. 3. All first-year students were required to attend the event that was sponsored by the Violence, Violence, Intervention and Prevention Center and Office of the First-Year Experience.
Mousseau has worked in masculinity and sexual assault prevention for eight years, researching and discussing the issue. He has dedicated his life and made it his goal to help stop sexual violence. He is a published author and poet who has given over 450 keynote addresses to schools across the country.
For Mousseau, the topic of sexual violence is all too familiar. He began his speech with the message, “Change occurs because of stories.”
He then went on to tell his own personal story. He is a male survivor of sexual violence. The story was difficult for Mousseau to talk about, but he said, “Stories make us who we are and connect us to forward change.”
He then told students about a stalking incident at work that led the speaker to realize that he was sexually assaulted during college and did not know because he was drugged. The speaker revealed that he used alcohol as a coping mechanism and struggled, cutting people out of his life. However, he then saw a counselor who connected him with other survivors, and his life improved. Mousseau’s goal in telling his experience was that people should not feel ashamed to look for support. Sexual violence can include harassment, assault, domestic abuse, intimate partner violence, stalking, verbal abuse, physical abuse, lack of consent and catcalling. It can be done in-person or electronically.
Mousseau wants college students and people worldwide to realize sexual violence is a prevalent issue that needs attention. The speaker listed many statistics throughout his speech.
“Six percent of men in college will experience sexual assault, and 18 to 25 percent of women will experience sexual assault on campus,” Mousseau said.
The speaker then said that 90 percent of all sexual violence incidents in the country involve a make assailant. With this in mind, he said, men need to care about the issue in order to stop it.
“Choosing to do nothing about this issue makes you complicit,” he said.
Mousseau also said he believes the more we talk about sexual violence, the more we can stop it.
“Sexual violence is one of the most preventable crimes there is,” Mousseau said.
The speaker drew from his own college experiences to try and relate to Susquehanna students. He was not aware of the issue of sexual violence in college. However, he now knows all too well the importance of spreading awareness.
“If the only time we’re doing something is when it happens, then we’re already too late,” Mousseau said.
Students also seemed to agree that the topic should be talked about more.
“I absolutely think sexual violence should be discussed more in colleges. College is when people get new freedoms and do things they have not been able to do before. New freedoms can lead to being stupid. This is the time where you can shape how people handle these new freedoms,” first-year Margaret Bowers said.
In working to help stop sexual violence, the speaker offered tips to students. His advice involves focusing on individual stories unique to oneself, thinking about relationships and talking about what is okay and what is not when it comes to being in relationships.
Mousseau wants students to talk about consent and to have those uncomfortable conversations. He believes those conversations will lessen the chances of sexual violence, which is prevalent at colleges across the country. He also wants friends and peers to call each other out when their behavior is unacceptable.
“Sexually violent language leads to sexual violence,” Mousseau said.
According to Mousseau, people need to call out friends that use bad language and derogatory terms. They also need to help friends by stopping them from engaging in any harmful behaviors if intoxicated.
“It takes a lot of people doing a lot of small things to end sexual violence,” he said.
The guest speaker talked directly to survivors during the speech, telling them they are not alone. Sexual violence affects many students’ lives.
A student at Susquehanna, who will remain anonymous, said, “What stuck with me from the speech was how it took years for Tim to know that he was a person who experienced sexual violence. I was in a relationship and went through some situations, but it was not until I talked to my friend after the fact that I realized what was going on in that relationship was not okay.”
When supporting survivors of sexual violence, Mousseau recommends helping them by getting them from the incident if it just happened and assisting that person in receiving medical attention.
If the incident happened in the past, people should believe the experience and help individuals find specialized resources. Peers should also be careful about the questions asked. A simple, “How Can I Help You?” suffices in offering support, according to Mousseau. The speaker also brought up the concept of bystander engagement during his speech. Bystander engagement means that people are not just bystanders but they try to prevent harm from happening. Bystander engagement could include involving other people as well.
Mousseau closed his speech by mentioning how his whole life could have changed.
“He [his assailant] could have been stopped if someone were paying attention,” echoing why the sentiment of bystander engagement is so vital. He wants people to rally to change policies, change the ways cops are trained in handling these situations and call out harmful behavior.
It may take a lot of work, and require all different kinds of people working together, but Mousseau firmly believes that “one day we won’t have to talk about sexual violence.”
