Stalking, Lurking, Lingering: What’s the Difference?

By Christiana Paradis (she/her), Director of Title IX Compliance 

This month marks the 20th anniversary of recognizing January as Stalking Awareness and Prevention Month. While stalking is a serious and dangerous crime, the term “stalking” is often thrown around haphazardly in common conversations (i.e. “I stalked their profile and…” “Twice in one day! Are you stalking me?”) that dilute the fear and terror provoked by stalking behavior.  

Stalking is defined by our university policy as a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or the safety of others, or suffer substantial emotional distress. Course of conduct means two or more incidents where someone may directly or indirectly follow, monitor, or surveil another person. Stalking can look like, but is not limited to, receiving unwanted and harassing phone calls, showing up unexpectedly where someone is located without sharing their location or leaving unwanted gifts at a person’s residence.  

It’s important to note that stalking behavior can but does not always include the behaviors of lurking or lingering.  

• Lurking is when someone listens to people (at a close distance) but rarely or never participates. Sometimes this behavior can be perceived as a threat, even when it’s not intended.  

• Someone may lurk because they feel socially anxious about engaging directly in a conversation, but still want to be present or a part of a social situation.  
• Someone may also be having difficulty making friends and is “hanging around” a group of people because they are trying to find opportunities to engage in the conversation with the group.  

• Lingering is when a person is slow to leave when it’s time to walk away. People can linger with their bodies (stay near another person) or with their eyes (look too long at another person). Lingering can make people feel uncomfortable and may also be perceived as a threat, even when it’s not intended. 

• Someone may linger because they want the opportunity to share an opinion or thought one-on-one, which may feel less intimidating than in a group setting.  
• Someone may also have a romantic interest in someone and do not know how to communicate that, so they linger in hopes of getting one-on-one time with that person.  

Anytime someone is engaging in a behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable it is important to communicate a clear boundary. Let that person know that their behavior is making you uncomfortable and you would like them to stop. The other person may be completely unaware that their behavior is coming across in a way that is making someone else uncomfortable. If the behavior continues it could be considered a course of conduct that indicates stalking behavior. Click here for more information about identifying stalking behavior.  

If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking, on campus options are available. Transitions of PA offers free and confidential services, available 24/7, including a campus advocate in the VIP Center who can meet with you. Contact 1-800-850-7948 for their 24/7 hotline or stop in the VIP Center Monday through Friday 9 a.m. through 5 p.m. for drop-in hours. Furthermore, the Title IX Office can help review options and connect you to additional campus services. You can file a Title IX Report here.