How to Support a Friend through the Title IX Process

By Christiana Paradis (she/her), Director of Title IX Compliance and Wynn Phillips (she/her), Director of Violence Prevention 

A friend comes to you and discloses that they were harmed on campus. Here are some critical things that you can do:  

• Listen: Actively and non-judgmentally listen to what they are sharing. Your role is not to investigate or gather details, rather listen to what they can and are sharing with you at this time. 

• Believe: Take what a person is saying seriously and as the truth. 
• Support: Phrases like “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” “I appreciate you telling me,” and “this was not your fault” are crucial for showing care during these hard moments. 
• Share resources: Encourage them to utilize confidential resources to consider options such as our campus victims’ advocates through Transitions of PA (available 24/7 at: 1-800-850-7948) or Counseling and Psychological Services. You can also encourage them to file a Title IX report, so they can learn more about supportive measures available on campus without the pressure of having to move forward with a process.  
• Support their decisions.  

Support their decisions — this can be one of the most critically important factors in assisting a friend as they navigate their options and choices. You may not agree with their choices, in fact, you may entirely disagree with their choices, but it is their choice. When someone has been harmed particularly if it involves interpersonal violence, that person’s autonomy has been taken away from them, supporting them in a way that empowers that person to make their own choices is a pivotal opportunity for that person to reclaim their voice.  

This can look different for everyone. For some folks this is going through a Title IX process or reporting to police, for others it is simply having a note sent to faculty that they need academic support and taking time to heal on their own. Or it might involve the help of our campus victim advocates. All our resources are always available. Even if someone did not opt for any resources initially, they can always decide they want additional or different supportive measures in the future. Someone may also return to a resource or support that they had stopped seeking for extra assistance at any time.  

Unfortunately, too often in the Title IX Office, we hear stories where the friends of the person who was harmed are trying to act in what they believe is the best interest of that person, by doing things like posting on social media, harassing the respondent (person who did harm) or ostracizing the respondent’s friends from places and organizations on campus. Not only would this be considered retaliation and a violation of our Title IX policy, but it could blow back in ways that are incredibly harmful to the person who was harmed. It could also make them feel like they’ve lost autonomy over their story.  

If you need any additional information about resources or ways you can support a friend, you can always reach out to vip@susqu.edu or titleix@susqu.edu. As always, if you are aware of a situation of harm that occurred on campus, we encourage you to report it and connect the person who has been harmed to support, using this link.