By Victoria DiMartino, Contributing Writer
If you’re single and looking to mingle, now might not be the time for you. In the COVID era, it seems that your options for what you’re allowed to do (at least on campus), completely trump anything you may want to do. Long gone are the days of finding nightly love on 18thstreet—and ending up on barstool the next morning—and ushered in are your limited and masks curated options.
While there isn’t an overseeing COVID dating director, there seems to be a bit of social pressure on what you can do, especially if you choose to have your date on Deg patio. Even if you want to de-mask at a table, if there’s no food or coffee in sight you might be distracted during your date by the people carrying their food back toward home as they trail along the patio and stare at you. It’s either that, or an awkward Zoom date that starts off by someone deciding if two minutes before the agreed upon meeting time is too early.
I couldn’t help but wonder, are the limited options for dates affecting our dating? Do you not feel like putting in the energy if there are all these extra rules and barriers to the date that seem to make it even harder to be natural, or to get to know the person in an organic way? Are screens and masks creating a physical wall between you and the person you’re getting to know that makes it hard to feel like you’re really connecting?
Yeah, maybe you both made a joke about the mask rules, but is that how you both really feel?
It seems that nowadays safety and comfort is an added component to setting up a first date. While some may argue that if you don’t feel comfortable meeting people in person, or taking off your mask, then maybe you’re not “ready” or serious about dating now. But what about the people who are just too nervous or extra cautious. Wouldn’t you want to date someone who feels the same way about rules and safety as you? One less argument at the end of the night if you both already see eye to eye?
While you may not be out searching for your soulmate right now, it’s definitely important to add to “how they feel about COVID” to your list of things you’re looking for. Whether you believe one way about the rules or another, you definitely need to know how they feel, because it will affect everything from the type of dates (virtual or in-person) to how you’ll interact with each other around campus and how they’ll act when you’re not around.
Beyond that, what about finding someone to argue or agree with in the first place! What do staggered move-in dates mean to you? Are you waiting until all your options arrive back on campus before you decide who you want to pursue first, just in case a cutie moves in on the last weekend? What about if you’re totally remote, is it just townies for you now? Your hometown high school grads who you know are just too hometown for you?
And if you’re waiting for someone special to move in or you’re still waiting to move in, how do you address the people who you may have had something with last semester but you got cut off by COVID?
With everyone having to wear a mask around campus half of the face is completely covered! How will you determine if someone is cute and if they’re a first-year or not? There is a lot to be said about what a mask can do for your face. We’ve all done it by now, you see or meet someone for the first time and you only see their eyes. You have to fill in the rest of their features like a Mr. Potato Head game. In your head, they’re probably a lot better looking than they are under the mask. Then there comes the moment of truth where you see them pull off the mask and their true face is shown. Are you disappointed?
Now let’s say you risk it, you throw your presumptions about their face to the wind and go for it anyway. How the hell do you flirt? While we all think we’re smizing away making Tyra Banks proud, what we really look like is a creep staring too strongly at someone. The small smiles and the slight touches on someone’s arm to let them know that you see them, but you also want to see more of them. Now no one can see that smile you’ve practiced in the mirror 1000 times and someone might swat you away if you try to touch them!
Are we forever hidden behind our masks? Or now is it socially acceptable if you’re more than six feet away (maybe more if you’re indoors) to pull the mask off for two seconds like a curtain and mouth from a distance that “I think you’re cute”? That subtle flirting is now way more forward than you’ve ever had to do it. For all my casual flirters out there, hoping that your subtle charms will just land you a soulmate, I got to let you know that masks aren’t helping you. You’ve got to dial it up to a 10 to even be at a normal flirting level now.
Whether you’re ordering from the dating menu or just looking for now, reconsider the way you’ve been going about love. Or even just “like.” It’s going to be very different for a little while longer and maybe that has something to do with us. Are we looking at the whole picture when we decide on a date? And do we have any new considerations that we didn’t have before?
