By Lee Taylor, Forum Editor
I am a serial homework forgetter.
All throughout high school and my first year of college, I was infamous for not doing my homework. I would get reminder after reminder, telling me to do my homework, but I never did.
One thing I’ve heard most from adults in my life is that I’m “full of potential” but am “lacking the motivation” which could “seriously impact my future.”
When you’re 16, 17, 18 and depressed this doesn’t really mean much, just makes me feel bad.
The thing that nobody tells you about depression is how it messes with not only your long-term memory, but also your short term.
It’s not just homework I forget either, its special dates, work hours, names or where I put my keys last. My mom always told me it was because I was rushing but even after I started staying more organized I would still forget.
I write all my homework down but then forget to look at it. I’ll write all my tasks in a neat list with little check boxes and stickers but won’t look at it until the next time I’m going to make a list.
I’ve thought about talking to a therapist but then shame spills over me. Other people can remember the most basic of tasks, so why can’t I?
I’ve always struggled with feeling removed from normalcy because of my sexuality and gender identity, and this makes it worse.
I had myself convinced that I’m some sort of freak-weirdo who can’t even remember their own name on some days. It’s a nasty train of thought, and nearly impossible to change.
What sucks about it is that there’s not really a definitive way to change that. Sure, planning works for some people, writing things down works for others, but we’re all wired completely different.
It’s the same as finding what beauty or health products work for you- trial and error. Maybe traditional planning doesn’t work for me, but maybe a more intensive style like bullet journaling would.
Maybe therapy would help, maybe it wouldn’t.
One thing I’ve found that definitely doesn’t help is focusing on all the bad things you think about yourself.
Self-pity is fun, it lets you feel good about feeling bad. Trust me I’ve been there.
But it’s not healthy for you or anyone around you. You have to find a coping method that works well for you.
For me, it was writing my feelings. That’s how I ended up in my current position- a journalism major working for the school newspaper.
Having something stable to work on every week, also a place where I can spill my heart across the page, has provided an outlet for me to organize my life.
Sure, I’m still working towards a more organized life, but this has been a step in the right direction for sure.
