By Liz Hammond & Nick Forbes
Asst. Living & Arts Editor & Managing Editor of Design
Last week, this column was dedicated to Mac Miller and his new album, “Swimming.” This week, it will be dedicated to his life.
Malcolm James McCormick entered most of our lives when we were in high school. He was then just a 19-year-old with a distant dream of making it big.
At 19, I think that it’s safe to assume we all had big dreams. For McCormick, it seemed like a dream come true when his EP “K.I.D.S.” came out in 2010 and was a massive success. “K.I.D.S.” caught the eye of local record label Rostrum Records, who signed Miller and released his first studio album “Blue Slide Park” in 2011. “Blue Slide Park” could be seen as an extension of K.I.D.S., with Miller spitting more braggadocious bars over mostly upbeat instrumentals provided by ID Labs. Songs like “Frick Park Market” and “Party on Fifth Ave.” became unofficial party anthems across the nation.
What came after wasn’t something that anyone could anticipate. McCormick faced some of the worst negativity after “Blue Slide Park.” The online music publication “Pitchfork” called him a “crushingly bland and intolerable version of Wiz Khalifa.” How does a 19-year-old respond to that? For McCormick, it was turning to drug abuse.
Looking back, I remember what his music started to sound like when he was in that dark place. I was naive to what it meant then. I just liked the way that it sounded and in my darkest hour I could relate to what he was saying. But, was anyone there for him like they were for me?
2013 was rock bottom for McCormick. The rapper himself even admitted that the making of the album, “Watching Movies With the Sound Off,” marked the peak of his drug use.
Then came a positive shift that was reflected in McCormick’s music. His third studio album “GO:OD AM” was named to reflect McCormick’s “reawakening.”
“What’s between heaven and hell?/A brand new me,” he declares in one of the album’s closing tracks.
Fast forward to August 3, 2018 and it was like McCormick was reborn. He seemed to be fresh and in a new space. In his interview with DJ Zane Lowe, Lowe started the interview by saying, “Yeah, you look good man, there’s light in your eyes.”
Just looking at all the foreshadowing we were given to his death seems like a sick joke. McCormick’s music video for self care was just him in a wooden coffin and by the end he finally gets out and ends up in a free fall.
I don’t want to believe that what happened to Mac was premeditated. I don’t want to believe that what he sang on “2009” was just a facade to make it seem like he was okay. I want Mac to be what he was in my head: a visionary, an artist and a positive soul that just wanted everyone to hear his music and feel something.
To me, the song “2009” seems like a love song to himself. The chords in the interlude lead up into the most beautiful song about overcoming the hardships to see light in the world again. I could go through every lyric and make you see just how much he seemed to be better.
But, I want you to take some time and sit and listen by yourself. Feel the soul, feel the positivity, feel the honesty.
Mac hid nothing from us on this song, but yet his death feels like the biggest mystery. He knew what was behind the door, but he still opened it again and again. He was restless in this world of negativity and his music reflects that. For his fans, his music will be the only thing to connect to anymore.
Like he says in the song “Best Day Ever,” “No matter where life takes me/find me with a smile/soon to be happy/gonna be laughing like a child;” well Mac, I hope that wherever you are you have a smile on your face and you finally found your inner peace.
