By Rylee Baker
With the rising popularity of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, finding a date has never been easier. Except, most of the time, it’s not just dinner and some chatting. According to Mental Health America, 75% of college kids have reported partaking in the act of hooking up, an umbrella term that can range from just kissing someone to intercourse.
Internet sleuths have coined the term “casual sex,” to describe the lack of emotional commitment to someone while engaging in sex. Sounds like a great time, right? Even though, on the outside, it may seem like a fun and easy way to meet people, feel good and have no attachments, the truth is far more complex and disturbing.
As a college student myself, hooking up is talked about at length every day by my friends, other students, on social media, etc. Although it’s not exactly frowned upon, at least not by my peers, online it has been completely normalized. Hook up culture is now part of the college experience, and the act of hooking up isn’t all bad.
The National Library of Medicine did a study where 23% of participants felt sexually satisfied after engaging in casual hook ups, and 21% felt positive emotions afterwards. In some cases, hooking up or casual sex can be very beneficial. It promotes self-confidence and sexual exploration, especially for those in the LGBTQ+ community who want to experiment and discover their sexuality. Hooking up can be a great way to enjoy your body and find out the things you like and dislike. Intercourse is also a proven way to relieve stress, and some who often engage in casual sex say that they actually feel better and less stressed after.
Unfortunately, hooking up isn’t beneficial to everyone. A study done by the National Library of Medicine stated, “approximately three-quarters of sexually active college students report at least some regret over past sexual experiences.” Bringing in my own experiences and hearing from friends, this is true. Casual sex isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. It can lead to emotional detachment in sex which can grow into loneliness and depression.
The same study also stated, “In addition to sexual regret, casual sex is associated with psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, as well as low self-esteem and reduced life satisfaction.” Sex is a lot more than just movements and physical feelings, it can be deep and emotional.
Students may find themselves stuck in a loop, where they want to have an emotional connection, but are too afraid of commitment. Therefore, the act of hooking up and casual sex continues, destroying peoples’ ideas of love and intimacy as well as their mental health.
It is important to recognize that men and women experience casual sex in different ways. The National Library of Medicine stated, “Overall, females appear to experience more sexual regret than males following a hookup… males are more likely to report regret over choice of sexual partner and partner unattractiveness,” a disgusting but unfortunately true statement. Women are much more likely to become emotionally invested in a person because it’s in our biological code to be more “nurturing.”
Feeling emotional detachment and shame when engrossed in casual sex will only lead to low –self-esteem. Many reported feeling used, constantly confused or upset. The feeling of walking to class and seeing someone you barley know, but have been vulnerable enough to have sex with, is very awkward and stressful. It makes the whole thing seem pointless with more cons than benefits. But like anything that brings us pleasure, it’s easier to get sucked in and repeat the habit over and over.
Anyone who feels that they’re struggling to get out of this phenomenon, there are resources available for free on campus. Susquehanna offers the Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), that will always be available to talk to any student. The Violence Intervention and Prevention (VIP) Center is also open for students to find sexual education resources, condoms, dental dams and a Transitions of PA advocate for any student struggling with sexual or domestic violence trauma.
If you prefer a more independent approach, you can also try to be more mindful of the things you choose to engage in. Like any substance, you should not use hooking up as a coping mechanism. This makes way for the idea that casual sex is meant to be casual and breezy, which to most, it’s not. Have real expectations, set boundaries and talk to your partner beforehand. Asking them what their intentions are can help you decide whether it’s worth it for you.
Hooking up is a modern anomaly that has been plaguing college campuses. Casual hook ups can be both beneficial and extremely harmful. So, check in with yourself, and make sure your actions reflect who you want to be.
Student Resources:
- Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
- 570-372-4751 (option 1 during business hours, option 2 after hours and weekends)
- Therapist on duty is available in-person or by phone Monday through Friday from 9am to noon and 1pm to 4 pm
- Violence Intervention and Prevention (VIP) Center
- phillipsw@susqu.edu or vip@susqu.edu
- Open Hours: 9am to 6pm Monday through Thursday and 11am to 4pm on Friday
- Transitions of PA 24/7 support: 1-800-850-7948