By Victoria Durgin, Editor in Chief
I’ll be the first to admit how badly I wanted to return to campus with my class at the end of September. The thought of being able to leave my house and study in a different environment, even if I would only return to that home to finish out the semester, was too appealing for me to turn down.
For the end of September and much of October, my enthusiasm and gratitude for being able to be back at Susquehanna was at an all-time high. I dutifully went to every class, stayed up to finish every assignment and hardly ever let myself complain or think I wasn’t happy. I had waited for months to be back here, so why should I complain?
But then, as midterms and the stress that always follow them began to rear its ugly head, the doubt in my mind began to creep in. Was I having a good time? Am I having one now? Am I okay?
For all intents and purposes (and the friends reading this who will be concerned) let me be clear: The answer is yes. I am lucky to be as okay as I am, both physically and mentally. But I still can’t help but wonder if we as a collective are alright.
Not having a fall break hit harder than I ever thought it would. I didn’t realize how much my body and mind need time to recharge after they are depleted by midterms. The absence of a break, though, meant that recharge is exactly what never happened- we all just kept going. No downtime, no moment to pause, or catch our breaths or enjoy ourselves without feeling guilty because there is an assignment not getting done or a Zoom call we aren’t on.
Factor in my work schedule (because yes, I still work- pandemic or not, I need the paycheck) and the oncoming season of internship application deadlines on top of severely restricted social opportunities and, ultimately, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Now, we know that next semester probably won’t be much different. On Oct. 16, Provost Dave Ramsaran announced the Spring 2021 calendar won’t include a midterm break and will include 14 consecutive weeks of education.
Again, I find myself at a crossroads. On one hand I am extremely grateful for the chance to learn on the campus I brought myself to three years ago. I am excited by the idea of spending more time with friends and roommates. I’m happy I get to continue to frequent my favorite spots in town. On the other hand, I am dreading what 14 consecutive weeks might do to me. If I’m stressed now, after spending six weeks on campus without a break, what is 14 going to do to me? And yes, I am aware of the services the Counseling Center and Student Life are providing in terms of mental health attention. It’s hard not to be. After all, every time a student raises concerns about what life without a break does, we are reminded to watch YouTube videos or “reach out” for help.
But why put all the pressure on those services in the first place? Why can’t we at least have a few days off at some point next semester, even if I’m expected to stay on campus for them? I don’t need to travel, I just need to sleep without existential dread in the background. That doesn’t require a counselor, it just requires a schedule designed with more than academic concerns in mind.
We’ve reported on a semester like no other for eight weeks now. Time and time again we have heard from people that we need to take all the steps possible to #savethesemester. While I agree we need to save ourselves from COVID-19, I can’t understand why we’re all supposed to be okay with sacrificing our mental health to get there.
I hope, for my sake and anyone else’s, that next semester feels different. With more Zoom and Kaltura and Microsoft Teams looming, though, I’m not all that optimistic.