By Victoria Durgin
Contributing Writer
Harlan Cohen spoke to students in Weber Chapel on Aug. 30 as part of several lectures related to this year’s common reading program around the theme of resilience.
Cohen, a published author, spoke to first-year students about topics concerning relationships. The discussion interacted with the audience before Cohen even took to the stage.
His cell phone number appeared on screens in the chapel with a message encouraging audience members to send him questions and comments. Soon after he was introduced Cohen left the stage to engage with the audience.
“I would like to help you find some love,” Cohen said. He spoke first to freshman student Rhys Cohen, who volunteered details about his relationship status to the entire audience. Cohen asked the student about his current status, whether he was interested in anyone, and the student’s ability to express his feelings. The conversation, in a public and filled auditorium, quickly became very personal.
Rhys described that although some questions throughout the night were uncomfortable, the presentation was beneficial: “[Cohen] made people uncomfortable in a good way” he said. Cohen referred to Rhys several times throughout the night.
‘I WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU FIND SOME LOVE’— Harlan Cohen gets real with students about love, relationships and ‘the uncomfortable’ during his talk that kicked off the common reading lecture series. (The Quill/Alyssa Gehris)
Cohen then spoke with other members of the audience about their own status and feelings towards dating. He walked up and down the aisles, stopping specifically to talk with a woman about her dating life and to a sophomore in the crowd, who offered the advice “stay to the books” to the audience. After some time in the crowd, Cohen returned to the stage to share his “Lessons on Dating” and “Steps to Finding Love.”
Within these lessons Cohen embedded his own experiences with dating and relationships, quipping that he “peaked romantically in kindergarten” and joking several times about his appearance and insecurities. He returned to the audience throughout the program to both answer and ask questions.
Several audience members did text questions to and receive answers from Cohen during the presentation. One anonymous student asked Cohen how to handle hating everything about yourself. In response, Cohen launched into a dialogue about pride and shame.
He discussed his pride and shame cups, both metaphorical representations of the thoughts about himself Cohen carries every day. He finished his response to the question by proclaiming, “I deserve to have a cup filled with pride, and so do you.”
While Cohen presented his talk as an important and truthful lesson on life, not all viewers felt the same way. One text to Cohen challenged his statement that consent was “complicated” by refuting the idea that consent was anything but simply yes or no. Cohen addressed the concern onstage, re-stating his early talking point about consent being “complicated” due to individual difficulties with communication. He apologized for any confusion and then moved on to another audi- ence text.
Several students continued to hold doubts about the implications of the statements regarding consent after the event. One freshman said the comments “encouraged the idea that consent was difficult, when in reality it shouldn’t be,” and appreciated the student who voiced that view via text to Cohen.
One first-year student also called the overall presentation “uncomfort- able to sit through” and said she “wasn’t a fan” of the night’s speaker. Cohen himself did state the point of his talk was to make the audience uncomfortable; his own site boasts the title “Getting Comfortable with the Uncomfortable.” Cohen’s lecture was the first of several lectures scheduled for campus surrounding the theme Resilience.